How I Transformed In 365 Days of Taking Habit Out and Letting Life In

A Year has passed.

This morning, I woke happy. I brushed my teeth with my homemade toothpaste; it dribbled from my mouth when I noticed sunlight speckling in through the window and smiled too wide in response. Mitra and I took to the streets and I let her lead us on an unfamiliar route. I snuggled dogs I’d never met before and complimented a stranger’s shirt. We lazily wound our way home. It’s my hood’s composting day, so I pulled the bin of scraps from my freezer. To it, I added coffee grounds. I blended and pressed the almonds I’ve had soaking for two days into milk, then added their sticky pulp, too. We headed out again, dropped off the bag, I returned to my desk, and I started editing audio for a new client.

This morning was completely unrecognizable from June 20th one Year ago today.

My Year of Abstinence has ended.

A Year of studying habit removal. Of saying “no”. Of taking out to see what comes in.

Continue reading


I Don’t Want to Find “True Love” This Way

True Love Challenge: Day Four – I QUIT!

Technically yesterday was Day Four, but it took me hours longer to get work done than it should (Lyme brain fog), and so it was late and I was still working. By the time I opened up the day’s challenge — listing personality similarities I share with my “true love” and placing a Chinese calendar talisman-esque figurine under my bed — I was far too tired. And still not buying into the mantra I was to write and repeat, nor the essence of magic in the activity.

I wanted out. But I intended to push on because, well, this is to challenge habits and get out of my comfort zone, right? Technically I was to start the whole program over rather than skip a day – sigh – but I reasoned that maybe I could do two days at once.

Then I looked at Day Five’s setup and… I’m out. Here’s why:  Continue reading

The idea of “true love” challenges me…

True Love Challenge: Day Two

“I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.”

The Darkness made a damned great song, man. It’s so f’ing catchy. And I had to listen to it after journaling today’s True Love challenge. Because while I totally  believe in a thing called love, I probably should have done, well, any, research before I jumped into a program that uses words and phrases like “true love”, “soulmate”, “perfect love” and such without abandon. One that thinks steeping herbs into a bathtub to foster sexy self-confidence is part of attracting that man into your life.

So while I’m trying to give it a fair shot… I dunno. Continue reading

True Love Challenge: Day 1

I am being a very good student.

I was resistant from the beginning: You want me to hand write each exercise? Um, no.

But then I realized that if this experiment completely fails at the end, I won’t be able to judge it fairly, at all. If I don’t at least try with an open mind and heart, I might as well not even put in the time. So here I am, day one, opening a notebook and clicking on the email, trying. Albeit with resistance. But nothing but my own curiosity and myyearofabstinence experimentation is even asking this of me. And so here I am.

Day One: Continue reading

I Just Bought “Find True Love in 27 Days”. Ha!

A few things on this:

  1. I spent $10 on this. If I’m not 100% satisfied, I can get my money back. Evidently. It was “pay what you can afford.” Hence the $10.
  2. I don’t really want to find love in 27 days. I’m more interested in finding other things. But this whole Year is supposed to be about adding and abstaining and seeing what happens, right? So here I am.
  3. I’ve never done one of these kinds of self-help type things. I think they’re shit, honestly. But I’ve never done one. So this is me not being an ass, and trying something new, so that the next time someone asks me if I’ve tried a program on attracting love in 28 days I can say, “No, but I have tried a program on attracting love in 27 days. And it was shit.” If, indeed, it is shit. Then I’ll be able to say I’ve been in a theatre cult, played a part in a pyramid scheme, and tried a bad self-help program. Cause I’m livin’ the 21st-century dream.
  4. Finally, this is purely for journalistic, Love Bites Radio purposes only. You may think I’m making that up. I’m not. Listen to the show, and you’ll then trust me on this. Ben and I don’t pussyfoot around trying stuff for the sake of content. And since my dating life has been sacrificed for the sake of my health, lately, I need content.

I’ll be posting daily. Wish me luck.