I’m On a Self-Self Help Plan

This is my year of abstinence. The rules are bendable. I can adapt them as I go.

I’m reminding myself of this fact because I need to do that right now.

My body hurts. In a moment of awareness, yesterday I broke down and accepted that I’m ill in a way that’s far from my baseline of “chronic illness.” It’s applicable to my current study of Zero Waste in that it’s just too hard to get enough food into my home right now by the rules I set for myself two weeks ago. So, I’m adjusting them.

Gently, in a way that feels genuine and true to the ethos of my study and the health of my body. In a way that’s not a cheat. In a manner I can live with. In a way that will help me sleep better tonight, knowing that tomorrow I won’t be putting my body in further harm by asking it to do what I know it should not.

So after my Yoga QiGong class — where the instructor has already been forewarned of my condition — I’ll go next door and collect some fresh product, coffee, fresh and dried herbs, pasta, and oil, all sold in bulk.

Then on Friday, I’ll have eggs, almonds, butter, mayonnaise, a box of kosher salt, a small bag of potatoes, and a large bag of yams delivered to me in cardboard boxes.

None of this requires plastic. As much as I wanted to buy some grass-fed lamb on sale from the delivery service, that would require plastic. So would some flowers, and almond milk, and a few other things I would like to have. But in this way, I can leave the heavy lifting to delivery, and the manageable things I know I can buy in bulk from the store. I have enough meat from my excursion to the amazing butcher’s from last Sunday to last me, and now will add and be satisfied by lamb next time.

Compromise, in a way I can live with. Long-term gains instead of beating myself down  adhering to discipline. Feeling proud of making smart decisions for both my body and home, instead of feeling defeated by failing to meet it expectations.

That’s what this is about now.

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