Holding Strong During the Storm

I will say this:

TeleWonderWoman works when you need to stay strong and just move forward.

When I started this Challenge, I had noticed a significant drop in my confidence over the last few months and years, stemming from poor health and being single and work not blossoming as fully as I want and need it to be. Those are real, hard challenges.

And writing is hard. I made the stupid mistake of checking my email last night as I was falling asleep — when a really trying day was finally coming to a close — to find not the best feedback on the first draft of a big project I turned in two weeks ago (which was fair). I’m far behind where I want to be on what I still owe that person, too. I know that most writers feel incredible angst and Imposter Syndrome with their writing to an almost comical extent; anxiety and introversion and self-doubt are part of the process. We hail stories of writers who faced rejection time and time again before publishing the work we love. But as I’ve said about living with illness, there’s nothing romantic about living this period. Writing professionally means constantly facing editors and agents and readers whose job it is to critique or flat out criticize your work. It’s hard. Sometimes an amazing hard. But hard.

So this morning, I woke to face a day that included the recent death in my family. And my body screaming at me to do nothing. And a first draft due to an editor that should have been published by now (and I’m oh-so-rarely late on deadlines). And needing to schedule interviews for upcoming pieces so that I’m not late on those deadlines. And then to sit with my big project, and work it out, bit by bit.

I made my coffee and stared out my window.

I got into my Wonder Woman pose. I channeled my List of Five. I reminded myself of how none of those five are always perfect on the first try, either. That they learn as they go, too. That if they crumbled with criticism and rejection, they’d never have accomplished what they have or what they have yet to accomplish in the future.

I sat down and got to work. I turned in the piece.

Hours later, the dark worry threatens again. I broaden my seated position at my desk. I can be strong, too. I can get back up, every time. I can work hard and revise and try harder and sharpen this brain of mine and improve my skills and love this learning and embrace this hard, hard process of writing and living and being a whole human being.

Yesterday I wrote about how there are some things TeleWonderWoman can’t think her way out of. Today I’m powering through changing the things she can.


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