I’ve decided I am TeleWonderWoman. I named this Challenge that so as to pull the two random parts of this project together, but it’s also an easy way to pull them together in me. Anyway, today had me up and down and everywhere. I think this is my third post and it’s only the first official day of this thing.
5:03 pm: I was thinking how this is so easy and awesome, since positive thinking is fun and reading is the best. But then everything started to hurt. After hours of taking down the Christmas decorations (and having to medicate twice because my body was screaming at me), I came to my room to sit for a second and now hear my roommate has turned on Gilmore Girls in the living room. And all I want to do is not move or think for the rest of the evening. But I have to finish tidying the rest of the tornado that I’ve made in the kitchen before I can eventually get myself into bed.
This body, girl. It rules me.
5:52: Reading more 52 Cups of Coffee while eating dinner and was a good girl and shut the door to block roommate watching GG because I’m a committed abstainer. Grumpy and in pain but committed.
Night: I was almost fully passed out by 10 PM, then woke up fully again, then started having a panic attack about money issues and business… until I quickly caught myself and invoked The Wonder Women list. It’s amazing how quickly it curbed the panic and instead had me thinking “fuck this” until I went back to sleep for a while.
Then I woke up again and it wasn’t until around 11:30 that I think I finally slept for good. At one point I went on a crazy whirlwind of a daydream about how I had to pick a positive memory for an audition, so I picked peach picking with a [long ago ex-boyfriend] on the birthday back in 2008 when I was so sick, and in my head I was writing it like the final sing-song monologue in the movie LaLaLand, which I saw on New Years Eve with Big Sis (and was not a huge fan of, I’ve decided). It was a lot of fun to write in my head for a while, being grateful for that so sick birthday with peach picking and sorbet and friendship. Such a loopy experience, beyond exhausted and in that middling stage between asleep and awake but at least not in panic.
The next morning I woke early to write and was amazed while making coffee how strongly the power poses and mantra work set forth a positive day.