I want to be writing, but am battling waves of ennui and self-doubt.
This is a big problem at present for many who work within my sphere, and for those without, too; so much of major importance distracts us. And then intimate realities linger as well, pulling my mind away; a funeral I’m missing, projects unsold, loved ones in pain, bank accounts tenuous, relationships strained.
I don’t want to challenge myself, today. I want to fall back upon what I know and feel the comfort of checking things off a list.
Instead, I take Mitra for a walk, make some tea, set a two-minute timer, and stand to Wonder Woman. I breathe. I ponder the feelings in my body, my lack of confidence in the world and my own life. And I conclude once again that the only way I can move forward… is by moving forward.
When my two minutes end, I take my tea. I go to my desk. And I sit. And I try. And I write.