I Don’t Want to Find “True Love” This Way

True Love Challenge: Day Four – I QUIT!

Technically yesterday was Day Four, but it took me hours longer to get work done than it should (Lyme brain fog), and so it was late and I was still working. By the time I opened up the day’s challenge — listing personality similarities I share with my “true love” and placing a Chinese calendar talisman-esque figurine under my bed — I was far too tired. And still not buying into the mantra I was to write and repeat, nor the essence of magic in the activity.

I wanted out. But I intended to push on because, well, this is to challenge habits and get out of my comfort zone, right? Technically I was to start the whole program over rather than skip a day – sigh – but I reasoned that maybe I could do two days at once.

Then I looked at Day Five’s setup and… I’m out. Here’s why: 

While the mantra is, again, a horribly-written sentence that poorly articulates what I presume the author is trying to say, the journaling portion starts with “What is the ethnicity… of your perfect partner?” I have plenty of beef with this question. But at the center, I find it hypocritical to structure a program with cultural influences from around the world and then encourage racism / stereotyping by including ethnicity. I have plenty of other issues with it, obviously, but this whole program just seems a mess. And not helpful, and not enough fodder for interesting self-examination or journalistic intrigue.

So I’m out. On Day Four (slash five).

The beautiful twist of fate in this decision, though, was that I really came to it before I’d looked up what Day was to be. I’ve been feeling off-kilter today, and so sat I for a meditation through The Goldilocks Movement. Exclusively for women, Iris Higgins runs an online retreat center with programs rife with meditation, journaling, conversation (IRL and virtually), and hypnotherapy geared towards helping us hone in on what we most genuinely want out of life and creative, practical, and realistic ways to bring that in. It’s the kind of life coaching / meditation / journaling program that I believe in and that actually works for me. So after doing this meditation on decluttering, one of the things I felt that was not leading to a goal in my work that I could declutter was this very 27-Day program.

Then I opened up Day Five’s prompt. And now here I am.

Conclusion: I am going to get my $10 back. And then do my due diligence and find some sort of self-help love program that I will still be skeptical of and not believe in, but at least one where I won’t be wanting to spell and grammar-check it at all times. And one where I will do the activities and be able to feel I’m at least giving it a fair shot.


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